June 8 - Game 2 - Away vs. Brown County Ballers

Well, on the sixth, I decided to go ahead and schedule our game for Thursday, seeing as how I didn't work, it was a decent amount of time away from our last game, and they hadn't called us yet. So, I called their "leader", Mitch "Mew" Wininger, and told him in a very professional manner that I was ready to schedule our game and such for Thursday... This is what happened:

Matrix: Hey, is Mitch Wininger there?
Mew: Yeah, it's me. Who is this?
Matrix: This is Tyler Margison, Matrix, from Team Revolution in the BCSBL, and I was calling to--
Mew: Hey, are you that bitch, Zach Margison's, brother?
Matrix: Excuse me?
Mew: Are you Zach Margison's brother?
Matrix: Yes. Did you call him a bitch?
Mew: Yeah, he's a little bitch. You got a problem with it?
Matrix: (starting to get slightly ticked at the brat) Yeah, I'd rather you not talk about my brother like that.
Mew: Oh, shut the hell up, man. He's just as bad as your guys' cousin, Jacob.
Matrix: Well, then... (avoiding conflict) I'm just calling to schedule a game between The Revolution, my team, and the BC Ballers, your team. It'll be played at your court, and we'll see you at five o'clock. I'll see your ass at the courts.
*CLICK*

So, this kid's a little dickhead, so I thought that I'd ask the rest of the crew to be matched up with him for the game, and then match Like Mike against him when I wasn't playing. Give him the whole famn-damily tree if he wanted it. But, seeing as how Jesse "Pick-Up" Perkins and Like Mike were somewhat rivals, I'd set them up together when I wasn't on the court. I had a whole thing set up for this, too.

Thursday afternoon, I ate my traditional string cheese, enjoyed it, did a lot of focusing, before hitching a ride with Zack Attack over to Artist's Drive. Seeing as how I don't have my car, it is always very helpful that we are neighbors.

When I got there, I doubted I would even need to have eaten my lucky cheese. These kids weren't even wearing official "uniforms". But seeing as how it's streetball, we didn't take anything away from them. They got what they deserved in multiple posterizations and schoolings. So go us.


The Revolution:
Starting 5:
Ce: Austin "Scarecrow" Martin
PF: Levi "Unstoppable" Law
SF: Ethan "Phenom" Scott
SG: Tyler "Matrix" Margison
PG: Zack "Attack" Stant
Bench:
Zach "Birdie" Walker
Miles "Kid Kobe" Lane
Jacob "Like Mike" Percifield
Kenny "Most Known Thug" Baker
Wraythe "Dubz" Parker

Brown County Ballers:
Starting 5:
Ce: Adam "A-Wall" Walls
PF: George "G-Unit" Harden
SF: Jason "Jay-P/JP" Perkins (One year older than Pick-Up)
SG: Mitch "Mew" Wininger
PG: Jesse "Pick-Up" Perkins
Bench:
None, really. They are such a pathetic team, they don't even have enough players to sub in or out.... *sigh*

OFFICIALS:
NOTE: We brought ours, because the BCB's weren't prepared enough for it...
Referees:
Kevin Clark (In the process of joining the team, this is part of his work as a "pledge", to earn team respect)
Stuart Coulter (Not EXACTLY a basketball person, but knows the basics)
Scorekeepers:
Danny McMasters
Andrew McMasters
Timekeepers:
Shotclock: Mitch Coleman
Game Time: Nick Coleman>

Match-Up of the Game:
Matrix & Like Mike vs. Mew & Pick-Up:
I'd just like to start by saying this match-up is definitely necessary now. It may not have been in the first game, which is why I hadn't thought of it yet. But now, it's personal. Like Mike will be going up against Pick-Up, and I will be facing little Mew. Let's see if they're game's where their mouth is.


Now, I just want to start this by saying that this was honestly the most pathetic attempt at a game I've ever seen. Not by my team. I won't tell you the score now, but my team kicked ass against the BCB's. Unfortunately, for the Ballers, they were quite inadequate, and I guess their first game didn't affect them in any way, so far as losing by thirty-some.

So, we started with the jump ball. It was me against (guess who?) Mew. I didn't even jump. I mean, I jumped for the sake that it was a jump ball, but my feet came an inch off the ground. Meanwhile, he jumped three or four times to get as high as I did, and I just pulled it out of the air. So, I'm standing there with the ball, both hands over my head, and he's jumping up to get the ball and such, so I decide to just start the moves there. I pushed him off of me, and he staggered back, then came up and played "defense" when I started dribbling. I started off with a classic: the bounce off the head, made famous by players such as Hot Sauce, AO, Pharmacist, and the NBA's own Jason Richardson. Except, I did it three or four times in a row. So, after that, he came up on me and tried to get the ball from my hands, so I threw it over his head, to Zack Attack, who came up behind Mew, and bounced it off the back of his head. But as it was coming back, instead of grabbing it, Attack punched it, and it bounced off Mew's head a couple more times, before he finally turned around, and the ball bounced off his nose, causing him to fall on his back.

Then, while Mew was turned around, I ran up court, and, with his back to me, Zack Attack passed the ball behind his back, right into my hands, and then, with my back to the rim, I threw it right up, and Scarecrow approached quickly, and slammed it down with both hands, in a Greg Oden/David Robinson sort of way. You know, that two-handed power dunk that just seems to rock the whole court, and seemingly pulls down the goal. Yeah, that was it.

The very next play, JP is bringing the rock up the court, and I go to meet him, because I wanted to make this look good. So, he tried to dribble between his legs, quite miserably, and I got the steal then. He ran up on me, and tried to grab ahold of me like a football player, and so I treated him like a football player. I bounced the ball hard off the ground, so it was suspended for a moment, grabbed ahold of him, and spun, so that he lost his balance and fell over. Then, I grabbed the ball, drove to the uncontested goal, and dunked a nice 360 statue-of-liberty dunk.

So, about three minutes of game time later, I was standing at the perimeter, watching as the opposing team tried to quintuple-team me. As in, all five players were going after me. So, I threw the ball over all of their heads (They were about 5-foot even, on average), and Phenom got to the goal quickly, just about missed the goal, and tossed the ball over his head, back to the goal. Then, Zack Attack came up, grabbed the ball, and Attacked the goal with a one-handed power jam that made everyone on the court scream in appreciation. Everyone except, of course, the opposing team. Wanna know the score at that point? Really? 3-24. No joke, they were THAT bad. And the only reason they had three points was because they argued an obviously-not AND-1 play, and Kevin gave it to them, just to shut them the Hell up.

The whole time, we were the Globetrotters. Definitely. Like, these kids were trying to follow us and stuff, but we were always one step ahead. For example, I was guarding Mew like nothing else, and he went to pass to A-Wall. Well, Birdie grabbed the interception, and went running in toward the goal. I followed him up, and he threw it up to me for an alley-oop. But, I decided to show these little kids (none of them could dunk) that even short people could put it down. So, as soon as I caught the ball I threw it back up, and Birdie came up, grabbed it with one hand, and tomahawk slammed it right in. But, they were still unconvinced. So I decided to show them something even better. The 4-8 kid, shorter than all of them, dunking hard.

And he dunked hard. Really hard. It was insane. I didn't even know he could do this. I brought the ball up the court and flashed Like Mike's signal: a "star trek" hand gesture ("Live long and prosper"). So, Phenom acted like he was tying his shoe in front of the goal, and everyone ignored him. I threw the ball toward the rim, and I saw Like Mike appear out of nowhere, approached the goal, and launched himself off of Phenom's back. He spun in the air, caught the ball with his back to the goal, spun the rest of the way, and finished the 360 dunk. It was amazing. And it was even greater to see the little brats of BCB freak out to see this kid do this crazy stuff... but, they had to "prove" they were better.

So, we stood at half court as they had Pick-Up sit on his knees, and Mew tried to stand on his back, jump up and dunk it. They tried at least four times, as we stood at half court and watched, until I finally had had enough, and I ran up as he was just about to dunk. He was just about to dunk it, finally, when I came up, jumped over Pick-Up, and slammed the ball off the court, sending it flying, way into someone's yard, knocking over one of their fake flamingos. Everyone yelled and jumped around, and Mew fell on the ground (simply because I was practically on top of him when I blocked him), and I stood over him and stared him down.

"WHAT NOW, BEEYOTCH!?" I screamed, using my foot to roll him over on his side while he quivered in fear. Haha, I'm a beast.

So half-time came and Zack Attack stopped to smoke a cigarette. He didn't really need one, but he did it just to piss those little kids off. And it worked. They were like "Ew, that's so gross!". So we said "Oh Zack, you're so cool, man! I wish I was that cool!" and Unstoppable walked up and said, "Oh, man, let me try something!" And he took the cigarette, and took a drag, and blew it out reluctantly, and we all went "Oh, Levi! You're cool, now too! Wow, I've never seen two cooler people ever in my life!!" So the kids got mad and started bitching at us...

"Yeah, cigarettes are cool. I smoke a lot. I'm just...out". Wow, how pathetic. I mean, that was really bad. "Yeah, Jacob, you're not cool enough to smoke cigarettes!" Idiots. That set Like Mike OFF. He ran up and got in Mew's face.

LM: What'd you say, bitch?
Mew: I said you're not cool, 'cause you don't smoke cigarettes!
LM: Oh, and YOU'RE cool? You've never touched a cigarette in your life!
Mew: (he started to get defensive here) Well, yeah, I have! Well... when I've brought them to my mom! I'm still cooler than your cousin, Zach!
Matrix: (Oh, I got set off on this one) You little punk, what'd you say about my brother??
Mew: I said I'm cooler than him!
Matrix: (Up in his face now) Oh yeah? Well, let's take for instance that he's beaten me in a game of one-on-one before, he's blocked me before, and Hell, he's even dunked on me before. What have you done? OH YEAH, about two minutes before half-time, I made you my BITCH!
Mew: Whatever, you're brother's a bitch.
Matrix: Oh, bitch, you didn't.

I picked him up by his shirt, and threw him down, and stood right over him, and put my foot on his chest.

Matrix: What'd you say about my brother?
Mew: BITCH BITCH BITCH!! HAHA

My crew was holding all of the rest of the Ballers back, while I beat down this punk. I picked him back up by his shirt, and held him over my head. Meanwhile, my brother was sitting on the sideline, laughing at this little punk-ass. So, I held him with my left hand, and uppercut him with my right. Not really hard, but enough to knock the air out of him. I dropped him back down, and he coughed and I even think I heard him start crying. But I left him there while Attack finished his cigarette and started practicing.

So, after half-time, we played hard, as if we needed to. I dunked on Mew twice, finishing by accidentally kicking him in the face before dropping to the ground.

There was about thirty seconds left on the clock, so we approached the goal when it was our turn, and I stood at the line. Then, I dribbled a bit, and sat down on the ball. I just sat there and waited. What else was I going to do? Finish these kids off one more time? Oh... well, I guess so.

They all started to walk to the paint, and stand there, and all five of them got bored and stood in a small group, talking to each other. What a small group of stupid five-foot idiots. So, I picked up the ball with a few seconds left, ran up quickly, jumped off both feet, and dunked right on them. Like literally, I reached up high, dunked the ball, and let my knees slide right over and on top of them. The crowd cheered and everyone lost control. I dropped down on top of them, and swung my arms around, causing them to clear out. Then, I did a superman pose, and went over to check the final score.

Want to take a guess? Yes? No? Yes? Yes.

The final score was... 11-82. They let us shoot a LOT of three-pointers, obviously. Most likely going to be the best record of the season, for a long time. On even better news, I had 36 points, 18 assists, 12 blocks, 4 steals, and 10 rebounds. Turnovers? Ha, you're funny. I had somewhere around -12 turnovers. It kind of made me really happy that I had more points than their team made altogether. It was good.

I think our next game is an away game against Armstrong. That should be fun. It's a long drive to Sprunica, but I have a bunch of friends out there, so maybe they'll stop by and visit us.