May 2: Pre-Game vs. Kentucky Hicks
Okay, so my cousin (Like Mike), Phenom, Zack Attack, Birdie, and I were totally rockin' at Deer Run before Like Mike's "parks and recreation" basketball game, and we were playing against a team of these high school tourists from Kentucky, the five of them between 15-17. For once, I played a better game than everyone else.
Team Revolution:
MaTrix
Phenom
Like Mike
Zack Attack
Birdie
Team KY:
Jason AKA Dizzy (Handles, Dimes)
Eric AKA Put It Up (Dimes, Shots, Dunks)
Jerrick AKA Dimez (Dimes/Handles)
Jack AKA Jackpot (All-Star)
Seth AKA Wild Card (All-Star, mainly dunks)
We, again, had an almost-professional game this time, but with less of a crowd. There were only like seven or eight people this time, and half of them were friends of Team KY.
Phenom and Wild Card jumped for it, and WC barely got it. He passed up to Dizzy, and I learned why they called him that. He pulled up to me at the perimeter, and started dribbling, and I couldn't keep track of the ball. He went behind the back, between the legs, behind the back, behind my head, popped up and over, back into his hands, and then finally, a spin past me that eventually knocked me on my ass. The crowd cheered.
Well, a few possessions later, he had almost schooled me, but I got a steal, and it was a chase up the court between me and him, but he got there first. Fortunately, he jumped for the block and I jumped for the dunk, and I bulldozed through him and slammed it right on him. As soon as he jumped for the block, and put his arm up, he recoiled, and brought it back, and kind of curled into the fetal position as I slammed on him. The crowd cheered even more than before.
A few possessions later, Dizzy had schooled me again, but only because he stepped on my shoe, covered my eyes with one hand, and dribbled the ball between my legs with the other. When he stepped off my shoe, he pushed my head with his hand and that knocked me over, and his Kentucky bitch-ass friends were all screaming "ohhhh" at me, AS IF they hadn't seen him push me over. But it was made-up for, because when Dizzy was driving in for the play right afterwards, he had his head turned to look at me, and ran right into Zack Attack, who had set up a nice "pick" by planting himself right in Dizzy's predictable path. He fell over, and immediately, Dimez and Put It Up got in Attack's face and starting bitching at him, but he pushed them around a bit and told them what had happened with me. Then, Phenom, being the peacemaker of the group, ran up and separated the three of them, and told them to just continue the game.
So, Attack, being the kind of person to totally hold a grudge, whispered to me to pop him a few dimes right when one of them was under the goal, and he'd take care of the rest. Still kind of feeling anger toward the assholes that knocked me down and laughed, I agreed immediately. So our crowd was on our right sides if we were dribbling up the court, and their audience was on our left. So I came up with the ball, and Dizzy came to meet me. So I decided to stun him with some moves.
First, I bounced it right off his head when he looked right to his peeps, and screamed "PAY ATTENTION!" the second he looked back at me, in shock. I laughed at him, and started dribbling between my legs. Before long, he was reaching and grabbing, and I had one knee on the ground, just dribbling under one leg. Suddenly, while he's down close and trying to get the ball, in one swift move, I stand up, spin the ball around his head, then, when he stood up and realized what's going on, I bounced it hard off his head, so he staggered back a bit. That's when I noticed Wild Card right under the basket, and Zack Attack was flashing the alley-oop symbol: an "O.K." symbol. I bounced the rock on the left side of Dizzy, and ran on his right side, grabbed it, then popped it right up to Attack, who grabbed it with one hand, WAYY up in the air, and slammed it right down on Wild Card, who jumped and got hit, slamming the back of his head into the base of the goal. He was fine (unfortunately), just a little shaken up. But he did look quite pissed at Attack. So now, we have feuds between Dizzy and me, and Attack and Wild Card.
A couple minutes, a few possessions, and several crossovers later, they were definitely leading 76-68. We were not having a great day. But we took a time-out and I gave a great motivational speech.
"All right, guys. Now, this is definitely just a scrimmage and such, but we can't let some stupid Kentucky hicks beat us at our game, in our court. This is OUR house, and we're not going to let them take us down. This is a bunch of bullshit, and we definitely shouldn't be losing by this much... one or two points, with homecourt advantage is enough, but eight?! Forget it. We're going to take them down right now. We're playing like the New York Knicks. And now, we're going to go from Knicks and Trailblazers to Spurs and Pistons. This isn't a preseason game anymore, my sons. This is game 7 of the NBA Finals, and we're losing by eight. Now let's get out there, and kick some fucking ASS!!"
Well, I read somewhere that it's said that during the playoffs, players jump to the next level... well, that night, we jumped several levels each. In 6 minutes of playing time, I shot 9-12, and made at least 6 dunks. Phenom shot 9-9 from beyond the perimeter. And I popped several alley-oops to Attack and Birdie, who, both, dunked on each and every one of the players on Team KY. Each person had their own specific "play of the night" that absolutely just rocked everyone's socks.
Matrix: Put It Up was trying to school me, when I knew that handles weren't exactly his thing. I took the rock with a hard steal from Put It Up and driving upcourt. Once I got just outside the lane, I jumped for a two-handed reverse 360 slam off the left baseline.
Birdie: He got a hard grabbing block (jumped, grabbed the ball with one hand, and brought it down to meet the other, holding it), and sprinted up the court, where he passed up to me. He kept running, but I got at about the middle of the lane, bounced the ball in front of me, so it popped up, and I crouched down. Birdie then came running up, jumped over me and slammed the ball hard with one hand.
Phenom: Wild Card came driving into the lane, and tried dunking, but Phenom jumped and slammed the ball down. WC got the rebound and went for a basic lay-up, but Phenom blocked it again. WC got the rebound once more, and actually tried to use a pro-step and lay-up, but Phenom jumped and blocked again, this time shooting it out of the court. Dizzy attempted to throw it in to WC, but Phenom got the steal, and Wild Card ran up against him to the goal. Phenom got to the lane and jumped to dunk it, right as WC did. WC cowered down in fear, and Phenom power-dunked it right on his face. Hahaha! WC got humiliated by Phenom five times!!
Like Mike: Like Mike was almost immediately matched up against Dizzy from the beginning because of his point guard abilities. Jackpot had crossed him up a couple of times, but Like Mike got him back in one huge possession. Jackpot met him at half court and Like Mike started freestylin' around him. LM was being guarded tough, so he put his back against Jackpot, who was right up on him. LM put the ball in his left hand, bounced it behind Jackpot, on his left, and LM spun to his right and grabbed the ball, and stopped as Jackpot fell over and got back on his feet. The crowd was laughing the whole time, but the worst came later. Jackpot switched out with Dimez, who was a LOT less experienced than Jackpot. So LM dribbled a bit, really low, in order to get Dimez to go as low as he could. Then, LM stood up really fast, spun in a circle, and smashed the ball off Dimez's dome. Dimez fell over, and LM approached fast. I was being guarded in the lane by Jackpot, and saw LM driving in. I made a "d" sign language sign right as he approached, and crouched down quickly. Like Mike came up and stepped off my back, and I pushed off, launching him into the air, right as Jackpot turned around. As soon as he saw LM approach, he turned to his side and raised his hands, as if to stop him, and Like Mike slammed it down hard, right on him. So even the 4-10 kid got to dunk today.
Zack Attack: Last, but certainly not least, the powerhouse of moves. He obviously dunked on everyone that day, but his greatest accomplishment was when he and Wild Card were about to starting beating the shit out of each other, Phenom came in and held the peace once more. And that's when Attack got him hard. He was schooling Dizzy hardcore, bouncing the rock off his head and dribbling between his AND Dizzy's legs, until Dizzy finally pushed Attack. Still bouncing the ball and finding it rather amusing, Attack bounced it right off his face. Not off his forehead like most ballers do, he bounced it right square off his face, which caused him to stumble back and start squealing in pain (Damn pig), and Attack stormed the goal. Jackpot tried to stop him, but he spun around him quickly, tripping Jackpot, and Attack got out of the spin and popped the ball up quickly for a lay-up. Well, Wild Card was under the basket, and caught it just barely as it was going up, causing it to stop moving forward. It was a few feet from the goal, so Zack Attack took a few steps toward the goal, toward Wild Card, who wasn't watching. He jumped, grabbed the ball off the block, and slammed it right down, making Wild Card wear his blue shorts like a crown as he soared onto him.
Well, it may sound like a bunch of fun and all, but at the end of the game, we won by a few points, and Wild Card and Attack got into it. WC tried to punch Attack a bunch, but Attack just blocked all of them, and right as Attack was about to suckerpunch Wild Card in the face, we saw a cop car pulling over the hill, so he stopped. Wild Card was already in a wussy defensive position. Nothing bad happened, the cop (who was a woman) was picking her daughter up from softball practice, which was at the diamonds in the further back of the park. We lucked out.
So afterwards, Zack Attack gave us a ride to the high school gym, where Like Mike played in his game, and what did I see? He was coming up the court, and his friend (only 5-foot or so) was running up on the other side of the lane, and LM popped a no-look alley-oop to him, which was caught and laid-up nicely. On his way back up the floor, I was standing and cheering and such, and he pointed right at me. Yeah, I'm his freakin' mentor, beeyotch. Call me the Ballin' Guru. Yeah, they won each game by at least twenty points, so it kicked ass.
I'm out, time for bizzed. Peace
Team Revolution:
MaTrix
Phenom
Like Mike
Zack Attack
Birdie
Team KY:
Jason AKA Dizzy (Handles, Dimes)
Eric AKA Put It Up (Dimes, Shots, Dunks)
Jerrick AKA Dimez (Dimes/Handles)
Jack AKA Jackpot (All-Star)
Seth AKA Wild Card (All-Star, mainly dunks)
We, again, had an almost-professional game this time, but with less of a crowd. There were only like seven or eight people this time, and half of them were friends of Team KY.
Phenom and Wild Card jumped for it, and WC barely got it. He passed up to Dizzy, and I learned why they called him that. He pulled up to me at the perimeter, and started dribbling, and I couldn't keep track of the ball. He went behind the back, between the legs, behind the back, behind my head, popped up and over, back into his hands, and then finally, a spin past me that eventually knocked me on my ass. The crowd cheered.
Well, a few possessions later, he had almost schooled me, but I got a steal, and it was a chase up the court between me and him, but he got there first. Fortunately, he jumped for the block and I jumped for the dunk, and I bulldozed through him and slammed it right on him. As soon as he jumped for the block, and put his arm up, he recoiled, and brought it back, and kind of curled into the fetal position as I slammed on him. The crowd cheered even more than before.
A few possessions later, Dizzy had schooled me again, but only because he stepped on my shoe, covered my eyes with one hand, and dribbled the ball between my legs with the other. When he stepped off my shoe, he pushed my head with his hand and that knocked me over, and his Kentucky bitch-ass friends were all screaming "ohhhh" at me, AS IF they hadn't seen him push me over. But it was made-up for, because when Dizzy was driving in for the play right afterwards, he had his head turned to look at me, and ran right into Zack Attack, who had set up a nice "pick" by planting himself right in Dizzy's predictable path. He fell over, and immediately, Dimez and Put It Up got in Attack's face and starting bitching at him, but he pushed them around a bit and told them what had happened with me. Then, Phenom, being the peacemaker of the group, ran up and separated the three of them, and told them to just continue the game.
So, Attack, being the kind of person to totally hold a grudge, whispered to me to pop him a few dimes right when one of them was under the goal, and he'd take care of the rest. Still kind of feeling anger toward the assholes that knocked me down and laughed, I agreed immediately. So our crowd was on our right sides if we were dribbling up the court, and their audience was on our left. So I came up with the ball, and Dizzy came to meet me. So I decided to stun him with some moves.
First, I bounced it right off his head when he looked right to his peeps, and screamed "PAY ATTENTION!" the second he looked back at me, in shock. I laughed at him, and started dribbling between my legs. Before long, he was reaching and grabbing, and I had one knee on the ground, just dribbling under one leg. Suddenly, while he's down close and trying to get the ball, in one swift move, I stand up, spin the ball around his head, then, when he stood up and realized what's going on, I bounced it hard off his head, so he staggered back a bit. That's when I noticed Wild Card right under the basket, and Zack Attack was flashing the alley-oop symbol: an "O.K." symbol. I bounced the rock on the left side of Dizzy, and ran on his right side, grabbed it, then popped it right up to Attack, who grabbed it with one hand, WAYY up in the air, and slammed it right down on Wild Card, who jumped and got hit, slamming the back of his head into the base of the goal. He was fine (unfortunately), just a little shaken up. But he did look quite pissed at Attack. So now, we have feuds between Dizzy and me, and Attack and Wild Card.
A couple minutes, a few possessions, and several crossovers later, they were definitely leading 76-68. We were not having a great day. But we took a time-out and I gave a great motivational speech.
"All right, guys. Now, this is definitely just a scrimmage and such, but we can't let some stupid Kentucky hicks beat us at our game, in our court. This is OUR house, and we're not going to let them take us down. This is a bunch of bullshit, and we definitely shouldn't be losing by this much... one or two points, with homecourt advantage is enough, but eight?! Forget it. We're going to take them down right now. We're playing like the New York Knicks. And now, we're going to go from Knicks and Trailblazers to Spurs and Pistons. This isn't a preseason game anymore, my sons. This is game 7 of the NBA Finals, and we're losing by eight. Now let's get out there, and kick some fucking ASS!!"
Well, I read somewhere that it's said that during the playoffs, players jump to the next level... well, that night, we jumped several levels each. In 6 minutes of playing time, I shot 9-12, and made at least 6 dunks. Phenom shot 9-9 from beyond the perimeter. And I popped several alley-oops to Attack and Birdie, who, both, dunked on each and every one of the players on Team KY. Each person had their own specific "play of the night" that absolutely just rocked everyone's socks.
Matrix: Put It Up was trying to school me, when I knew that handles weren't exactly his thing. I took the rock with a hard steal from Put It Up and driving upcourt. Once I got just outside the lane, I jumped for a two-handed reverse 360 slam off the left baseline.
Birdie: He got a hard grabbing block (jumped, grabbed the ball with one hand, and brought it down to meet the other, holding it), and sprinted up the court, where he passed up to me. He kept running, but I got at about the middle of the lane, bounced the ball in front of me, so it popped up, and I crouched down. Birdie then came running up, jumped over me and slammed the ball hard with one hand.
Phenom: Wild Card came driving into the lane, and tried dunking, but Phenom jumped and slammed the ball down. WC got the rebound and went for a basic lay-up, but Phenom blocked it again. WC got the rebound once more, and actually tried to use a pro-step and lay-up, but Phenom jumped and blocked again, this time shooting it out of the court. Dizzy attempted to throw it in to WC, but Phenom got the steal, and Wild Card ran up against him to the goal. Phenom got to the lane and jumped to dunk it, right as WC did. WC cowered down in fear, and Phenom power-dunked it right on his face. Hahaha! WC got humiliated by Phenom five times!!
Like Mike: Like Mike was almost immediately matched up against Dizzy from the beginning because of his point guard abilities. Jackpot had crossed him up a couple of times, but Like Mike got him back in one huge possession. Jackpot met him at half court and Like Mike started freestylin' around him. LM was being guarded tough, so he put his back against Jackpot, who was right up on him. LM put the ball in his left hand, bounced it behind Jackpot, on his left, and LM spun to his right and grabbed the ball, and stopped as Jackpot fell over and got back on his feet. The crowd was laughing the whole time, but the worst came later. Jackpot switched out with Dimez, who was a LOT less experienced than Jackpot. So LM dribbled a bit, really low, in order to get Dimez to go as low as he could. Then, LM stood up really fast, spun in a circle, and smashed the ball off Dimez's dome. Dimez fell over, and LM approached fast. I was being guarded in the lane by Jackpot, and saw LM driving in. I made a "d" sign language sign right as he approached, and crouched down quickly. Like Mike came up and stepped off my back, and I pushed off, launching him into the air, right as Jackpot turned around. As soon as he saw LM approach, he turned to his side and raised his hands, as if to stop him, and Like Mike slammed it down hard, right on him. So even the 4-10 kid got to dunk today.
Zack Attack: Last, but certainly not least, the powerhouse of moves. He obviously dunked on everyone that day, but his greatest accomplishment was when he and Wild Card were about to starting beating the shit out of each other, Phenom came in and held the peace once more. And that's when Attack got him hard. He was schooling Dizzy hardcore, bouncing the rock off his head and dribbling between his AND Dizzy's legs, until Dizzy finally pushed Attack. Still bouncing the ball and finding it rather amusing, Attack bounced it right off his face. Not off his forehead like most ballers do, he bounced it right square off his face, which caused him to stumble back and start squealing in pain (Damn pig), and Attack stormed the goal. Jackpot tried to stop him, but he spun around him quickly, tripping Jackpot, and Attack got out of the spin and popped the ball up quickly for a lay-up. Well, Wild Card was under the basket, and caught it just barely as it was going up, causing it to stop moving forward. It was a few feet from the goal, so Zack Attack took a few steps toward the goal, toward Wild Card, who wasn't watching. He jumped, grabbed the ball off the block, and slammed it right down, making Wild Card wear his blue shorts like a crown as he soared onto him.
Well, it may sound like a bunch of fun and all, but at the end of the game, we won by a few points, and Wild Card and Attack got into it. WC tried to punch Attack a bunch, but Attack just blocked all of them, and right as Attack was about to suckerpunch Wild Card in the face, we saw a cop car pulling over the hill, so he stopped. Wild Card was already in a wussy defensive position. Nothing bad happened, the cop (who was a woman) was picking her daughter up from softball practice, which was at the diamonds in the further back of the park. We lucked out.
So afterwards, Zack Attack gave us a ride to the high school gym, where Like Mike played in his game, and what did I see? He was coming up the court, and his friend (only 5-foot or so) was running up on the other side of the lane, and LM popped a no-look alley-oop to him, which was caught and laid-up nicely. On his way back up the floor, I was standing and cheering and such, and he pointed right at me. Yeah, I'm his freakin' mentor, beeyotch. Call me the Ballin' Guru. Yeah, they won each game by at least twenty points, so it kicked ass.
I'm out, time for bizzed. Peace
posted by .maTrix at
12:22 AM
1 Comments:
yo thats crazy 5 ft man dunkin. yo thats mad crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By
Anonymous, at 12:50 AM EDT
Post a Comment
<< Home