April 1st - April Foolin' Some Posers
Okay, so I had to drive from Cincinnati to my home, Nashville. But first, my dad had to stop in Columbus (Indiana) to take pictures of our varsity high school baseball team. Well, the park there has a few courts on it, and one of them has an 8' set of goals on them.
I saw some guys playing, and I walked over and asked if we could play 3-on-3. So we start playing on these goals, and my team checked it up. Now, I'm playing with a guy that's decent, though below my abilities, and one guy that wasn't really that great. He was like tall and goofy. BUT, I turned him into a star. These other three guys, one was a few inches shorter than me, and probably in Junior high, and the other two were probably juniors. Somehow, all five players there appeared to be druggies.
Go me.
Strobe: "Hey man, can you dunk?"
Me: *maliciously* "No, man. I'm only 5'5", what do you want from me?" Haha...
So, I'm playing with these guys, and I'm bringing the ball up. Strobe (Tall-and-goofy; I guess there's some inside joke about him dancing naked in a strobelight during some party.... I decided to not ask questions) and Bear (other guy; A bit taller than me, but not very athletic at all. His girlfriend calls him "Pooh-Bear" so everyone called him Bear.) were playing the post. Hmm...
I threw the ball to Strobe and he went for this very bad shot from feet away, and it bounced off the rim. Before the other guys could get it, though, I ran up as fast as I could and grabbed the rebound. Well, I could have slammed it right then, but what's the fun in that? So, I grabbed the ball, floated to the other side of the goal and layed it up easily.
VERY NEXT POSSESSION!!! They had the ball upcourt, and I was standing just beyond half-court, on my side, and Strobe got a nice block, and the ball came bouncing to me. So I looked back, saw that I was being chased slowly, so I approached the goal quickly, bounced it off the glass and reverse-360 slammed it home.
Strobe: "Holy shit, dude! I thought you said you couldn't dunk!?"
Me: "April Fools, bitches!"
So, a few possessions later, I'm approaching the goal, and the guys are on the post again. This one guy that was guarding me tough the whole time was all up on me. Having not done any street shit earlier on, I decided to break it out. I started dribbling between my legs and looked left very generic-ish (I don't know how else to explain) as though I was going to pass it, and then I dribbled left, then crossed right, and the guy tripped a bit, then got back on me. He kept on me, and had his head low, so I put my hand on his head quickly, bounced it with my left around my back, and between his legs. Strobe got the ball and tossed it up, and I caught it really high (my fucking forehead could have touched the rim), and windmilled it.
We ended up winning later, 24-19, and the cat was out of the bag about my dunking abilities. I guess one guy on the other team, "B-Mac" (Ben McNolley, I guess. That's what they said when I asked), was a monster dunker, too. So he wanted to have a 2-dunk competition.
So he got up there, and pulled off this sick 360. He got three 9's and a 10: 37. Screw you, man.
I shot the ball and it bounced off the ground, and I did a 360, then touched the back board with the ball and slammed it. Two 10's, two 9's: 38.
He finished off with an off-the-glass, between-the-legs, and got a 39, because someone thought that since he was considerably taller than me, that he didn't deserve a 10. So if I scored a 38, we'd be tied.
Well, I was almost completely lost. It took me half a minute to think something up, but I decided to put it to physics. You see, when you jump with a ball in your hand, most of the time, the vertical gained will be less than if you jump without one. It adds to your overall weight. So, in order to jump as high as I needed to for this dunk, the ball would have to be out of my hands.
So I bounced the ball in front of the goal, jumped, grabbed the ball (my idea worked), and put both my elbows in the rim. Yeah, I won. Perfect score on that one.
I got like $5 from it, too. So it all worked out for me that day.
I saw some guys playing, and I walked over and asked if we could play 3-on-3. So we start playing on these goals, and my team checked it up. Now, I'm playing with a guy that's decent, though below my abilities, and one guy that wasn't really that great. He was like tall and goofy. BUT, I turned him into a star. These other three guys, one was a few inches shorter than me, and probably in Junior high, and the other two were probably juniors. Somehow, all five players there appeared to be druggies.
Go me.
Strobe: "Hey man, can you dunk?"
Me: *maliciously* "No, man. I'm only 5'5", what do you want from me?" Haha...
So, I'm playing with these guys, and I'm bringing the ball up. Strobe (Tall-and-goofy; I guess there's some inside joke about him dancing naked in a strobelight during some party.... I decided to not ask questions) and Bear (other guy; A bit taller than me, but not very athletic at all. His girlfriend calls him "Pooh-Bear" so everyone called him Bear.) were playing the post. Hmm...
I threw the ball to Strobe and he went for this very bad shot from feet away, and it bounced off the rim. Before the other guys could get it, though, I ran up as fast as I could and grabbed the rebound. Well, I could have slammed it right then, but what's the fun in that? So, I grabbed the ball, floated to the other side of the goal and layed it up easily.
VERY NEXT POSSESSION!!! They had the ball upcourt, and I was standing just beyond half-court, on my side, and Strobe got a nice block, and the ball came bouncing to me. So I looked back, saw that I was being chased slowly, so I approached the goal quickly, bounced it off the glass and reverse-360 slammed it home.
Strobe: "Holy shit, dude! I thought you said you couldn't dunk!?"
Me: "April Fools, bitches!"
So, a few possessions later, I'm approaching the goal, and the guys are on the post again. This one guy that was guarding me tough the whole time was all up on me. Having not done any street shit earlier on, I decided to break it out. I started dribbling between my legs and looked left very generic-ish (I don't know how else to explain) as though I was going to pass it, and then I dribbled left, then crossed right, and the guy tripped a bit, then got back on me. He kept on me, and had his head low, so I put my hand on his head quickly, bounced it with my left around my back, and between his legs. Strobe got the ball and tossed it up, and I caught it really high (my fucking forehead could have touched the rim), and windmilled it.
We ended up winning later, 24-19, and the cat was out of the bag about my dunking abilities. I guess one guy on the other team, "B-Mac" (Ben McNolley, I guess. That's what they said when I asked), was a monster dunker, too. So he wanted to have a 2-dunk competition.
So he got up there, and pulled off this sick 360. He got three 9's and a 10: 37. Screw you, man.
I shot the ball and it bounced off the ground, and I did a 360, then touched the back board with the ball and slammed it. Two 10's, two 9's: 38.
He finished off with an off-the-glass, between-the-legs, and got a 39, because someone thought that since he was considerably taller than me, that he didn't deserve a 10. So if I scored a 38, we'd be tied.
Well, I was almost completely lost. It took me half a minute to think something up, but I decided to put it to physics. You see, when you jump with a ball in your hand, most of the time, the vertical gained will be less than if you jump without one. It adds to your overall weight. So, in order to jump as high as I needed to for this dunk, the ball would have to be out of my hands.
So I bounced the ball in front of the goal, jumped, grabbed the ball (my idea worked), and put both my elbows in the rim. Yeah, I won. Perfect score on that one.
I got like $5 from it, too. So it all worked out for me that day.
posted by .maTrix at
11:30 PM
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